


We're All In This Together

by Helena_Hathaway



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Attempt at Humor, Fluff and Crack, Funny, High School Musical - Freeform, Humor, M/M, This is just honestly super fucking stupid, crack!fic, hsm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-01
Updated: 2015-06-01
Packaged: 2018-04-02 06:36:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4049935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Helena_Hathaway/pseuds/Helena_Hathaway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Complete Crack!fic. Gerard and Frank watch High School Musical.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're All In This Together

**Author's Note:**

> 97% Crack!fic
> 
> 3% Excuse for me to rewatch High School Musical

“I am not watching High School Musical with you,” Frank says, “even the name is stupid. Like, come the fuck on! They couldn’t have come up with anything more original than that? It’s like the stupidest sounding thing I’ve ever heard, and I’m not watching it.”

“Yes you are,” Gerard says.

“You would have to tie me to a chair with a gun to my head for it to happen, and even if you did that, I still probably wouldn’t watch it with you.”

“But you don’t even know what you’re missing.”

“I’m missing out on wanting to rip my ears off. That sounds like a win to me.”

Gerard says, “Frank seriously, it’s actually a good movie. I was reluctant at first but Mikey promised me pizza and I was too hungry at the time to say no.”

“Please tell me this was before we met,” Frank asks. “Because I will never be able to live with myself if you actually rejected hanging out with me for a kid’s movie about singing teenagers.”

“I think so,” Gerard says, thinking back. He’d accidentally fallen into Frank’s lap on the train about a year and a half ago, which puts the first time he saw High School Musical at two years ago. 

“Actually that doesn’t make me feel any better. I started dating a guy who had seen High... no, I don’t even want to say it out loud,” Frank says melodramatically.

“Okay, if you watch it with me, I’ll take the trash out for the next three months,” Gerard says.

“Not good enough.”

“I’ll do that and I’ll clean the house,” Gerard offers.

“Nope.”

“I’ll do anything you want in bed.”

“Please,” Frank scoffs, “you already do that.”

“Fuck, what is it that you fucking want?” Gerard asks. “What will get you to watch it?”

“You know what I want,” Frank says critically.

“Frank!” Gerard groans.

“If you want me to watch it, you’re going to have to give me something in return.”

Gerard sighs, and frowns, “fine. If that’s really what you want.” 

“You know it is Gerard,” Frank says, and he beams back at him, eyes wide and happy like a maniac.

“Fine!” Gerard says breathily. Who’s the drama queen now?

“It’s a chair shaped like a butt, Gerard.”

“It’s tacky.”

“It’s a chair shaped like a butt!” Frank repeats.

“I don’t know why you want the butt chair.”

“The butt chair is perfect,” Frank replies, “it’s my personality in a nutshell.” 

“It’s really ugly, and it’s tacky,” Gerard says.

“We can argue over this as much as you want, but you want me to watch High School Musical, you’re buying me the butt chair.”

“Where are we even going to put it? I’m not letting you put it in our room,” Gerard frowns.

“It’ll go wherever it wants to go,” Frank says.

Gerard just groans, and he rolls his eyes before shaking his head and grabbing the remote from the armrest of the couch before Frank has time to take it and throw it out the window. Gerard wouldn’t put that past him honestly.

“What, we’re watching it _now_?” Frank asks.

“You want the butt chair,” Gerard says, “I want to watch the movie now.”

“This is just, I don’t think this is a fair trade. You get to make my brain rot away piece by piece until I’m nothing but a slobbering mess, and all I get is the chair?” Frank asks.

“Yes.”

“This is just very unfair.”

“You agreed,” Gerard says.

“Oh my god this isn’t happening,” Frank says, shaking his head and looking like he’s regretting his own birth. To be fair, that’s not entirely inaccurate. Gerard brings up Netflix on the TV and listens to Frank making noises of discontent as loudly as he possibly can. 

“You’re acting like this is the end of the world, it’s just a movie.”

“It is the end of the world,” Frank says.

“You agreed to put up with me, my flaws and all,” Gerard says. “But I wouldn’t really call this a flaw, it’s a fairly good movie.”

“You’re delusional.”

“You’re cynical.”

“At least I’m not the one who wants to watch a movie made for tweens. Female tweens.”

“It’s got a broader audience than that. It’s practically a cult movie,” Gerard says.

“Yeah, and you know what else is a cult? Satanism.” 

Gerard looks over at Frank while he finds the listing for the movie to give him a weird look before he’s saying, “I don’t think that Satanism really is a cult. I mean, I think the whole idea of a cult is the exclusivity, and anyone could be a Satanist.”

“Don’t rain on my metaphors, Gerard,” Frank shouts. Gerard finally finds the movie and he presses play to open a loading screen.

“I’m just giving you the facts.”

“The facts are stu-”

“Oh god shut up it’s starting,” Gerard squeaks at him.

“What are we going to miss out on? The fucking title sequence? Fuck, a Disney _Channel_ original movie? This was never even in the fucking theater?” 

“No, just shut up,” Gerard says.

“Oh my god,” Frank shakes his head. Gerard prepares himself for Frank’s cynical narration of the entire movie. “Great so it’s New Years Eve, what does that fucking matter?”

“It’s part of the plot!” Gerard replies.

“Well I picked up on that much for myself, thanks,” Frank says. “Starring Zac Efron, oh god here we go. Preparing for my mind to turn to goo.”

“You’re such a cynic. Go into this with an open mind,” Gerard tells him, but Frank rolls his eyes. He’s already sure he’s going to be doing that a lot and it’s not even a minute into the movie yet.

“Yeesh, so that guy looks better with time, doesn’t he?” Frank asks, referring to Zac Efron who does indeed look a lot better nowadays than he did when this movie was made. “Man he looks like an awkward teenager.”

“I mean, you looked like an awkward teenager too,” Gerard notes, “hell, if I had met you when you were a teenager I wouldn’t have given you a second glance.”

“I don’t appreciate that, asshole,” Frank replies, whacking Gerard over the head which makes him smile back in return. “Should never have showed you my old yearbook.”

Frank is quiet for all of another ten seconds before he’s jabbering away again, and Gerard is seriously going to whack him in the nose if he doesn’t shut up soon. “Wait, are they at like a ski resort? Are these people loaded as fuck? Who goes to a fucking ski resort, what? If you’re going on vacation, at least go for something cool like fucking Vegas or something.”

“Because teenagers are allowed in Vegas,” Gerard says, sarcastically. Frank makes a snarky sound in response and just sinks lower into the couch. He’s really concerned that someone might look in the window and see two grown men watching High School Musical. Now, the blinds are shut, and it’s nearly midnight, but still. It’s a growing concern for him.

“Wait he’s going to sing. What a surprise. Oh she’s going to sing too. Fucking fantastic. Neither of them want to, well now there’s another shocker. This movie is really hitting you with the damn plot twists, isn’t it? She’s the dorky girl who wants to read and he likes basketball. So original!”

“Oh my god, we seriously aren’t even five minutes in yet and you have not shut up,” Gerard says, “how about you try to stay quiet for the song okay?”

“Fine, whatever,” Frank says, crossing his arms, “I’ll stay quiet for the fucking song.”

Frank has no actual intention of staying quiet for the song. Not when the piano starts, and not when the guy seems to know the words and the tune even though he’s never heard it before.

“If he doesn’t want to sing then why is he singing?” Frank asks. “And how does he know the tune? I mean I get that there are lyrics there, but how does he know the tune?”

“I will smack you.”

“Jeez sorry. Am I infringing on your stupid ass kids movie?” 

“Dude, you cried when we watched Lilo and Stitch.”

“That was a very emotional movie!” Frank shouts defensively, and then he grumbles again and decides he’ll at least stay quiet for the dumb song. He’s not happy about it though.

It’s right about when the two people start smiling at each other that Frank makes gagging noises. Gerard is seriously considering giving him something to actually gag on, but not in the sexy way, he’s just tempted to find a rag to stick in his mouth. 

“That guy’s mouth is actually huge,” Frank notes. “It takes up like eighty percent of his face.”

“That one I can’t deny.”

“If this weren’t a kids movie they’d probably already have their tongues in each other’s mouths after that,” Frank says when the song ends. “Oh how cliché, she’s never sung before then.”

“Nothing pleases you, does it?” Gerard asks. 

“Nope. Unless it’s an actually good movie. Oh she left. Never to be seen again. The movie should end here. Right here is where this movie needs to stop. He’s never going to see her ever again.”

“I can’t stand you, you’re awful.”

“This is why you shouldn’t have asked me to watch the movie with you. This is going to be the whole movie. Just me saying shit about it. The whole time,” Frank responds.

Gerard grits his teeth, but he shakes his head and looks back at the screen. Frank huffs, and sees that Gerard’s not giving up on this so easy. His jawline looks tough so he knows that Gerard is probably grinding his teeth to keep him from punching Frank in the mouth. He’d probably deserve it and he smiles at his own ability to be annoying. 

The screen pans to the high school and Frank’s arms tighten around him as he tries to highlight how they’re crossed with dissatisfaction. 

Gerard is given about twenty seconds of peace before, “Ugh, his name is Chad. Chad! I hate the name Chad. What a dumb name. Dude has sick hair, like Ray’s but poofier, but ugh, Chad. His parents never even gave him a chance did they?”

Gerard decides not to give him a response. Frank doesn’t deserve that much from him. He’s determined to watch this movie through to the end no matter what it takes.

“This is that line that everyone quotes. That ‘what team’ thing.”

“Wildcats,” Gerard responds instinctively.

“I’ve met that girl,” Frank says pointing at Sharpay as she does her weird little saunter through the group of students. “I mean, not that one specifically, but I know the type. I went to homecoming with one actually. Her name was Britney.”

“You went to homecoming with a girl?” Gerard asks, giving him a sideways and extremely judgmental glance.

“You like the movie High School Musical?” Frank says in the exact same tone. Gerard squints his eyes angrily, and turns back to the screen.

Frank makes a remark about how he’s really disappointed that the girl shows up again, and he keeps saying ‘the girl’ in a weird voice like he’s actually talking about Voldemort. Gerard figures out that he’s mostly just angry that she’s showed up again because that means that the movie isn’t going to end as soon as he would like. He makes a comment about how there’s no plot, and Gerard tells him to be patient. 

Frank’s uncomfortably watching the screen, but mostly he keeps looking at Gerard’s face, waiting for him to crack a shit-eating grin and say that he’s completely kidding, but they’re at least five minutes in now and it hasn’t happened yet. So apparently Gerard is being completely serious and he does actually like this movie. Frank is considering moving out. 

“Detention!” Frank screams, “What a generic plot device. This teacher is annoying. Why did that guy bring a basketball to class? When can I make popcorn?”

“Calm down. Yes she is. The basketball is meant to demonstrate the fact that he’s a sport-centric jock. In half an hour,” Gerard says, hurrying through Frank’s questions. Gerard’s surprised that Frank doesn’t say anything about the part where they finish each other’s sentences, probably something about how much he hates that one scene in Frozen, and the fact that he loves sandwiches more than almost any other type of food. That always confuses Gerard because he’s a fan of sandwiches too, but Frank doesn’t eat any meat so his sandwich is usually just salad on a piece of bread and it looks kind of gross if you ask him. 

“Oh, he’s embarrassed about singing! What a shocker. What kind of friends get angry with their other friend because he likes to sing? Don’t you know that the key to getting laid is to make people fall in love with your singing? Like, that’s definitely the easiest way to do things. No one is incapable of being attracted to someone with a good voice.”

“That’s why you like me then, I suppose,” Gerard says.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” 

“You have a dumb face,” Gerard replies.

“A dumb face that you love,” Frank mumbles. Gerard sticks his tongue out at him. “Is ‘nice penmanship’ supposed to be a dig? Who gets offended by someone making fun of their handwriting? 

Gerard isn’t expecting to get any peace, he really isn’t, but he’s getting super fed up with Frank interrupting every six seconds. 

“So he plays basketball. Great,” Frank says. “Creative. You never see a movie starring the guy who’s on the fucking lacrosse team, do you?

“Well there’s Teen Wolf,” Gerard shrugs.

“Teen what?” Frank asks aghast, “don’t tell me you watch that too? Oh my god what did I get into when I started dating you? Oh my god this is gross. Oh god.”

“Shut up, it was on Netflix and I was curious!” 

“Holy shit, my boyfriend is a creepy idiot. Gross, ew ew ew, get away from me,” Frank says, scooching down the couch and Gerard just rolls his eyes at him. He’s sure there’s going to be a lot of that this evening. Lots of rolling eyes, shaking heads, tsks, and quite possible a few elbows to the ribs.

“What’s wrong with you?” Gerard asks.

“I should be asking you that same question? Are you a Brony too?”

“No!” Gerard says shrilly.

“Oh thank god. That would’ve been a deal breaker,” Frank says, and then moves back to insulting the movie, “coordinated basketball thumping. Wow. Well there’s something you don’t see too often. 

“He’s embarrassed about wanting to try out for a musical because he plays basketball, so he sings about that with his basketball team mates? Where is the continuity?”

“It’s a musical!” Gerard says, “There have to be musical numbers, hence the classification.”

“Well at least the music isn’t _that_ shitty,” Frank says, “It’s not good, but like, better than I was expecting.”

“It’s already getting to you!” Gerard shouts victoriously. 

“It really isn’t,” Frank says, and then he says, so loudly that Gerard actually flinches, “Oh god, who’s the flamer? I thought this was a kid’s movie? That dude is camp as fuck.”

“You’re stereotyping!”

“He’s wearing a beret.” 

“Straight men can wear berets,” Gerard responds.

“Straight men can’t wear berets that match their outfit,” Frank replies.

“They _could_.”

“But they don’t,” Frank says firmly, and Gerard shrugs because he’s not exactly delusional. Everyone with a brain knows that Ryan is gayer than Liberace, but he’s only had about twenty seconds of screen time so he doesn’t know how Frank’s jumping to that conclusion so quickly. Maybe it really is that obvious and Gerard’s just grown desensitized. 

“Is Barbie the bad guy?” Frank asks, “She doesn’t seem that bad to me. I mean she walks weird, but she’s not really a bad guy is she?”

“Yeah that’s always confused me too,” Gerard replies, “I never saw Sharpay as the bad guy either. I think she’s more relatable than all the other characters, really. Everyone else is a bit of a Mary Sue, but this movie is still great.”

“It still has no plot,” Frank snaps.

Gerard physically restrains himself from saying something about how annoying the teacher’s voice is, because he knows that that’ll only fuel Frank to rant on about it more. Gerard loves this movie, he’s not in the business of denying it, but Ms. Darbus has the most annoying voice in the world. Other than his sixth grade math teacher. That woman had a voice like she’d gotten a pineapple stuck up her nose. 

Frank actually snorts at the line about the tree, and Gerard grins to himself that at least he’s paying attention to the movie. And apparently there’s nothing more amusing than two jocks sitting in a tree.

There’s a snoring sound coming from Frank’s side of the couch five minutes later, and Gerard looks over at him to see him making a face like the scream, so he picks his foot up and digs it into Frank’s hip.

“Bitch,” Frank says.

“Pay attention!” 

“Only if you make me popcorn,” Frank says, pursing his lips and Gerard groans before he grabs the remote and pauses the movie. Maybe getting him something to eat will mean that he can’t talk. Or he’ll talk with food in his mouth. 

Frank is a very picky human being, and he demands that they get the completely plain microwave popcorn and put butter on it themselves, which of course means that making it takes five minutes longer because Gerard has to dig around the refrigerator for where they keep the butter, but he doesn’t actually know where it is. Gerard doesn’t make things often. Frank is the better cook and he’s never, unlike Gerard, burned milk. That’s a long story though.

Ten minutes later, Gerard’s pouring an extremely unhealthy amount of butter on the popcorn, hoping that it’ll get Frank to shut up.

He walks back into the living room where Frank is fussing with his phone, playing some mindless game, when Gerard throws a few pieces of popcorn at him.

“What was that for?”

“For being an idiot,” Gerard says. 

“Oh,” Frank says, grabbing the bag from him and taking a few out to throw at Gerard in return. “Fair is fair, right? You’re an idiot too.”

Gerard’s plan actually works better than he’d expected because Frank doesn’t talk at all for at least five whole minutes. He only speaks up to point out that “the flamer is wearing pink, Gerard, you tell me that guy doesn’t like it up the ass.” To which Gerard responds, “You can talk,” and is bombarded with a couple stray uncooked popcorn kernels.

They don’t however make it through the whole audition scene without Frank saying something obnoxious, and he keeps laughing at the bad singing, which Gerard supposes is the whole point.

“These are the bad auditions?” Frank asks, “This was all four years of the school musical that I was forced to sit through.”

“I mean, I guess they’re at least convincingly bad,” Gerard says, “like every actor ever is really bad at pretending they can’t sing, it’s really annoying, but I think they did actually just get people who couldn’t sing. Unlike Russell Crowe in Les Mis. I mean, you can tell that the dude was trying his all but there’s nothing more painful than hearing ‘Stars’ being butchered by that man.”

“Why does she keep saying ‘musi-cal’?” Frank asks, through a mouth full of popcorn, spraying the floor in front of them with spit, “That’s not how it’s fucking pronounced.”

“That’s the most attractive thing I have ever seen you do,” Gerard says monotonously and Frank chuckles before leaning in to him with a mocking face, and Gerard pushes him away which only makes him laugh louder. Gerard worries if he’s going to choke on the popcorn, but maybe at least then they’ll be able to get through the movie.

“I like that guy the best,” Frank says, pointing at the guy who he keeps referring to as ‘the flamer,’ which Gerard is starting to feel almost offended by before he realizes that Frank says that as, himself, someone who falls under that same term. “He’s the most relatable.”

“Are you just saying that because you like dick?” 

“Yes.”

“You’re so three dimensional,” Gerard replies. 

“Fanks,” Frank replies, grinning, cheeks slightly puffy because he’s got food in his mouth.

“He’th got a better fathon senthe then hith thister,” Frank says.

“Did your mom never tell you not to talk with food in your mouth?”

Frank finishes chewing before he says, “Well, yeah, but she also told me not to swear and look where we are now. And also, I don’t know why those two dumbasses keep looking at them like they’re doing a bad job, like that was pretty good. If my school musical had been as good as that tryout then they’d have made enough money off ticket sales to replace the collapsing ceiling tiles.”

“Where did you go to school? The Bates motel?” 

“Yes, Norman Bates was actually in my psychology class. Isn’t that ironic!” Frank says, laughing at his own joke.

Gerard isn’t sure if he’s still watching because he’s looking into his bag of popcorn more than he is at the TV, but he finally speaks up to say that he likes the pop version of the song better, which is not something you usually hear out of Frank’s mouth.

“Just better put together, you know,” Frank says, “like, the basketball dudes just sounded too bland.”

“His name is Troy.”

“Like the city?” Frank asks.

“Yeah, I guess,” Gerard shrugs, shushing Frank when music starts playing and he turns back to see that Frank’s been distracting him and he almost missed, arguably, the best scene in cinematic history. 

“Wait a minute are you kidding me? Is this scene really about a guy who likes baking?” Frank asks.

“Oh it gets better,” Gerard ensures him. A few seconds later he can actually hear the noises coming from Frank’s throat from how utterly idiotic the scene is, and that is why it is the best one in the entire movie.

“Fucking cello?”

“I know right.”

“The fucking cello?”

“Sometimes I wish I could play the cello.”

“That’s such a huge over reaction. He admitted to playing the cello not to hiding a body in a toy chest!” Frank shouts at the TV, looking from Gerard to the screen like he’s waiting for Gerard to agree with him. He does of course agree with Frank, but Frank doesn’t need to know that.

“Oh so you think it’s weird that she likes to dance, so you dance around her?” Frank asks, “You fucking hypocrites!”

“You’re being too picky,” Gerard says, “remember that it _is_ a kid’s movie.”

“Why are they being so shitty to each other? What kind of friends are they?”

“Just watch the movie, would you?”

“I am watching it, we’re this far into it, aren’t we!” Frank replies. “Oh my fucking god, it’s a school musical Chad, it’s not like he’s cooking meth!”

Gerard chuckles at him, and rolls his eyes, but Frank finally seems to be at least into it a little bit, given the way he just screamed at the TV, which he usually only does in horror movies when he’s trying to tell someone not to go into the basement.

Frank makes a face, leans over to Gerard’s ear and whispers, “they already fucking ain’t they?”

“It’s a kids movie!”

“They still fucking,” Frank says, tilting his head. 

“Well, yeah probably, but this movie was made for kids, so that’s wildly inappropriate.”

“ _Your_ wildly inappropriate,” Frank says, and then realizes what he said and beams at Gerard with pride in his face. “Actually that’s completely true.”

“Grow up.”

“Absolutely not,” Frank replies, and he shoves the empty popcorn bag into Gerard’s hands before he’s scooting over, grabbing Gerard’s arm and wrapping it around himself. He settles into Gerard’s side without asking if it’s alright. He’s always like that, thinking he gets to boss Gerard around, and he’s usually completely right, because Gerard usually listens to him. It’s those eyes. Those big brown eyes. And that smile. It’s his smile too. Really, it’s everything. Gerard hates him so much, why is he so cute?

Frank is an idiot. A stubborn, annoying, snarky, snotty idiot, but he is a cute idiot who Gerard is unfortunately in love with.

“Hey Gee?” Frank says. 

“What.”

“We should fuck.”

“Maybe when the movie is over,” Gerard replies.

“You’re turning me down for a movie about singing high schoolers?” Frank asks, looking up at Gerard from an awkward angle.

“Well, we’re already half way through!” Gerard says, “We might as well finish it now.”

“I don’t get you. Who wouldn’t want to tap this,” Frank says which only makes Gerard laugh at him.

Frank does at least focus his attention on the movie again and he’s immersed for a while only stopping to say “Okay so his dad is an asshole,” which Gerard completely agrees with. 

Frank’s eyebrows scrunch together the cute way they do when he’s judging someone or looking at a math problem and he says, “Why would she put his picture in her refrigerator?”

“Why _would_ she put his picture in her refrigerator?”

“That’s what I just asked.”

“And I want to know that answer too,” Gerard replies.

“Same Chad,” Frank says, because he’s apparently replying to the characters directly now, “I don’t want to understand the female mind either. That’s why I have a Gerard.”

“People actually ship him and Ryan.”

“Who’s Ryan? Oh the flamer?” Frank asks, turning to look at him with wide eyes like Gerard just told him the coordinates of buried treasure. 

“Yeah,” Gerard replies.

“Oh that makes so much sense!” Frank says, gesticulating with his hands like this is the most important thing he’s ever been told. “Because he’s so judgmental about his friend doing the theater shit, but really he’s just totally embarrassed about his huge crush on the gay kid. This movie is so dynamic!”

Gerard actually thinks he might be dreaming the words that are coming out of Frank’s mouth right now because that’s a very weird thing to say about High School Musical. Gerard likes the movie, but he’s not in the business of saying that it’s a very dynamic movie.

“Some of these jokes are a little dense for kids.”

“Well they’ve got to throw something in for the parents who have to watch it with their kids, and the high off their tits college students who share one Netflix account between an entire dorm.”

“Fair point,” Frank says. 

A few minutes pass with Frank adjusting his position, before he grabs the blanket thrown over the back of the couch and drapes it over the both of them. That’s usually his excuse to curl up into Gerard’s lap, and it’s usually the best thing in the entire world for Gerard. 

“For a smart person, Gabriella is pretty dumb. I mean, it’s not hard to figure out that that was staged. I mean, like, she didn’t even confront Troy about it. What an idiot.” 

“This song is painfully auto tuned too, isn’t it?” Gerard says, cringing every time you can hear the faults of how bad the auto tuning actually is.

“It’s not that bad. I like it,” Frank shrugs. Gerard’s not sure at what point Frank actually started to say nice things about the movie and Gerard started to say mean things. They’ve had a complete role reversal. Except not really. Gerard is finally getting to him though, and that’s what counts.

“Oh no. Well Gabriella was kinda bitchy there, wasn’t she?” Frank asks.

“I don’t know, I mean I guess she had every right to be pissed.”

“She didn’t talk to him first! Every relationship needs communication! You can’t just assume you know the whole story without discussing it first. What a rude thing to do. I mean, obviously Troy wants to do the callbacks, like, look how upset he is, what a fucking dick Gabriella is being.”

“When did you get so invested?”

“Shut up,” Frank says, waving him off. “Oh my god no. Is that snooty chick going to end up with Chad? That’s totally... I mean, that’s just not right.”

“It really isn’t.”

“Chad is super gay for Ryan,” Frank says. “It’s obvious.”

“You didn’t even think that before I said it,” Gerard says.

“Okay, well I’d have figured it out,” Frank replies. 

“I’m pretty sure that neither character says a single word to the other in this movie.”

“Yeah, but they’re still gay for each other,” Frank says, and Gerard rolls his eyes. “I’m trying to come up with a great condom joke, but I’m coming up short.”

“You’re trying to what?” Gerard asks emphatically.

“His name is Troy,” Frank says, like that’s supposed to be an answer. “Ugh, seriously? You’re so thick. Troy was the city in the Trojan War, and Trojan is a condom brand, you fucking walnut.”

“Why am I dating you?” Gerard asks, more himself than Frank.

“It’s ‘cause I’m cute,” Frank says, stringing it out and batting his eyelashes up at Gerard which makes him snort. He actually leans down to kiss Frank, but Frank only pushes him away to look back at the screen and that’s when Gerard thinks that maybe he’s made a huge mistake. 

Gerard’s pretty sure that Frank has never in his life rejected Gerard kissing him. Frank thought that waiting till their second date to fuck was too long. Frank likes sex and everything to do with it literally more than air or food. 

Frank is looking at the screen completely memorized as Ryan and Sharpay start plotting on what they’re going to do and Gerard can practically hear the internal monologue of Frank’s head.

“No you will not Sharpay, you _bitch_ ,” Frank says, opening his mouth horrorstruck. “That bitch!”

“I know right!”

“Like, you do not do that! If they want to audition, let them fucking audition! If they’re better than you than you got beaten fair and square. If you love theater so much you should want what’s best for your production, that bitch. I can’t believe her. I was on your side, Sharpay!” 

“That was pretty sleazy, I know,” Gerard says, grinning at how passionate about it Frank’s getting.

“No, like dude, she’s such a, ugh, there’s no word strong enough. That game thing is really important, and so is the decathlon thing, and those are both things that they have to go to, but fucking hell, they want to audition for the musical too, why are they so mean? I believed in Ryan.”

“You just like him because he’s gay.”

“The same thing could be said about my love of you Gerard,” Frank says.

“I resent that.”

“I just really didn’t want to make Sharpay out to be the bad guy, but that was really shitty, so now I hate her, and I kind of... nah Ryan’s cool.”

“You’re a bit of a hypocrite,” Gerard says.

“Ugh, shut up, Troy has an idea,” Frank says. “Wait, what is it? Are they not going to say? Don’t cut to a montage! That’s not fair.”

“Settle down, Frank.”

“I’m settled!” Frank shouts back, before grumbling and telling Gerard to stop talking again. “Why are they acting like everything’s alright? Everything’s not alright! What about the callbacks?”

“Because they-”

“Shh, that was rhetorical, don’t talk. Sharpay and Ryan are on. Why are they speaking Spanish? Wait... are they trying out for love interests? Aren’t they related?”

“Well-”

“Seriously shut up,” Frank interrupts. “I wish they’d stop cutting away from that, I’m kind of digging this song.” 

Gerard literally feels himself falling in love with Frank even more even though he’s being annoying and an idiot. That’s kind of why he loves the guy in the first place, he’s always an annoying idiot.

“Are you having flashbacks to Peter Pan yet?” Frank asks, poking Gerard in the side.

“You’re the one who needs to shut up now,” Gerard answers while Frank smirks and laughs at him noisily. 

“Oh wait, they’re interrupting the events. Oh man, are they going to make it to the thing? Oh my god! This is so exciting!”

Gerard also can’t stop snickering to himself at the look on Frank’s face, and he wonders if this is what he looked like that one time that Mikey made him watch High School Musical on his laptop over Christmas two years ago. Probably. His thoughts were exactly the same as Frank’s were originally. No one wants to watch High School Musical, it’s such a stupid concept, title, and plot, and yet, it is probably the best movie ever made and denying that is just idiotic.

“Fuck yeah, eat it Sharpay!” Frank’s yelling and Gerard snorts, burying his head into Frank’s shoulder. He only looks up when Frank starts yelling again, some obscenity at Gabriella because apparently he still doesn’t like her very much.

“Chad’s digging it. If only he’d been there to see his boyfriend,” Frank says.

“They’re not actually dating.”

“Shut up, Way!”

Frank doesn’t calm down all that much until the number is over and then all he has to say is, “I actually liked the other song better. It was way catchier. And it had a ladder. Troy and Gabriella didn’t have a ladder.”

“Ladders are important are they?”

“Ladders make the world more exciting. They bring bad luck, they’re collapsible, they, uh, they are climbable. They’re just very important.”

“That’s great.”

“Ugh, stupid Disney. They’re perpetuating snooty girl and Chad’s relationship. Chad and Ryan make more sense. Disney needs to gay it up a little bit. But at least Sharpay isn’t being a bitch about everything.”

“She was still pretty bitchy.”

“Yeah she was, but she’s not that bad now,” Frank says, “oh look at Ryan being super gay. I like him. He’s the only one wearing black, look at his pants. Why aren’t they white like everyone else’s? Ryan is ruining the color coordination. He’s still my favorite.”

Gerard makes a face of absolute judgment that Frank’s not paying attention to anyway. If he were paying any mind, Frank would probably flick him in the temple, he tends to do that if things don’t go his way.

“Are Troy and Gabriella not going to kiss each other? Wait is that... is that the end of the movie?” Frank asks.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“What the fuck! I know it’s Disney, but they’ve gotta at least kiss, right? What? That’s a bit of a letdown,” Frank says.

Gerard sighs, and says, “Okay, so you mentioned earlier something about fucking.”

“What? No, not now, the second one is on Netflix.”

**Author's Note:**

> I really don't know why this was written either. Sorry?


End file.
